I don’t want perfume, flowers (although I love flowers) or chocolates. When the children were young I’d request peace, quiet and cooperation. They are grown and now I can count on at least two out of the three requests! Between High Point Market and our One Kings Lane sale, Casart has kept me pretty busy. What I’d really like is some time to sit down and read something humorous or enlightening about child rearing. I found a few possibilities at Barnes & Noble. There’s been time since I raised children that I won’t have any guilts about what I may have done wrong.
Bringing Up Be’Be’ sounded promising since French children always appear so well-behaved. Pamela Druckerman is a former foreign affairs reporter for the Wall Street Journal and has a master’s degree from Columbia in international affairs. All three of her children were born in Paris and she set out to investigate why French infants sleep through the night at two months, French children have good table manners, don’t interrupt adults or eat between meals. She concluded that it begins with calm, sensible French mothers, who don’t become overly self-indulgent during pregnancy. Most American mothers rush to stimulate or satisfy a child while the French mothers allow the child to discover on their own and develop autonomy.

Since my girls used to call me Joan (as in Mommy Dearest), I can hardly wait to read Denise Schipani’s Mean Moms Rule. Schipani is the mother of two and a freelance writer. She explains her book thusly. “Being a Mean Mom is, in my view, the surest path to creating good kids and ultimately, of course, good adults, good citizens of the world.” She asserts that parents who coddle their children, try to be their “friend,” or take a child-centric approach to parenting aren’t doing their children any favors. She goes on to say that her approach is mean because it doesn’t follow the parenting heard and involves the no word. “And it’s mean because overall it entails taking the long view of parenting by often placing more weight on future outcomes than on present-day happiness. It’s like the slow burn of a warming campfire, as opposed to the brief flare of a match.” she concludes. I think I’m going to read this one first then pass along to my children with a note, “See, I’m not the only mean mom!”

Pulitzer Prize winning author Anna Quindlen explores the realities of aging and the complexities of parenting and other relationships in Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake. She offers a graceful look at growing older, the joy of solitude and the difference between being alone and being lonely. About the importance of female friends she says they are, “what we have in addition to, or in lieu of, therapists. And when we reach a certain age, they may be who is left.” About parenting-”We are good parents, not so they will be loving enough to stay with us, but so they will be strong enough to leave us.” On second thought, considering my age and the number of people I know in the paper’s obituaries, perhaps I’d best read this one first.

To every mother reading this, I hope you get what you truly want for Mother’s Day and to my children, it’s not too late to stop at Barnes & Noble!
- Lorre Lei